When Cate Cochran’s marriage ended, she and her husband knew they wanted what was best both for them and for their kids. They were good co-parents and wondered if there was something better than shared custody and a routine of passing the kids back and forth, however amicably. Even though their friends and family thought they were crazy, they decided to buy a new house together with separate apartments for each adult and a shared space for the kids. At first glance, Reconcilable Differences is just another book about parenting after divorce, but it is soon apparent that this is an inspiring book about families who buck conventional wisdom and structure their post-divorce lives in unusual ways. The 10 former couples in the book have managed to live out their more inclusive and nurturing philosophies. In the most remarkable story, parents Megan and Mike continue to live and co-parent together, even after Megan meets and eventually marries Mike’s brother. In the opening chapter, Kathleen and Phil’s relationship dissolves and they choose to operate two households on the same street where all family members are welcome. The new situations created some obstacles, but each were up to the challenges. The stories underline how tolerant most children are of non-traditional arrangements, usually unaware that their home lives are considered unusual until outsiders offer opinions. They also illustrate how personal decisions are linked to questions of politics and culture, and how they are instrumental to the creation of a more just and compassionate society. Most of these tales are refreshingly different from each other in the details, but at the core they are quite similar—the couples divide their houses or find a way to create linked but separate spaces in order to bring their children up together while still leaving room for emotional development and new partners. Reconcilable Differences proves that many kinds of relationship are possible and offers valuable encouragement to any family that might otherwise have been afraid to imagine something different.
